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Manchester United crisis deepens as glory supporters put in transfer request

After a week he would rather forget, Manchester United boss, David Moyes, will be feeling more pressure this morning following rumours the club’s glory supporters have put in a transfer request. The...

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Football haters have strong start to the season: all clichés make successful...

Warning: this is what happens to your face  permanently if you can’t talk about football without using the phrase ‘bread and circuses’. Football haters got their season off to a strong start this...

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Mike Riley to spend rest of life on phone apologising for refereeing decisions

See this Mike? Get used to it, because you’ll be spending a lot of time together After apologising to both West Brom and Sunderland for decisions that have gone against them in recent weeks, referee’s...

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England players: ‘little time now left ‘ to avoid World Cup draft

“Psst. Stop limping Phil, it’s your shoulder that’s injured.” Many English Premiership footballers have only one game left in which to plan and suffer a devastating injury. The prize at stake is...

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Manchester City pacify Yaya Toure with trip to Disney World

All smiles now, he was probably just overtired Yaya Toure has ended speculation over his future by confirming that he will stay at Manchester City after the club apologised for not adequately...

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Virgin Media win rights to Premier League bowel movements

Rooney is on a roll. Sir Richard Branson has stolen a lead on media rivals, after securing exclusive rights to the footballers’ leavings. “Laying a cable is something our firm was founded on”, said...

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Aston Villa found buried beneath Roman Villa

Waste land may be bought up by NCP. Following the unearthing of a Roman Villa during a barn conversion job in Wiltshire, the archaeologists had another surprise when they dug up a mosaic floor and...

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